Dirty Word?

Obedience- That word!   A word I have always loathed.  It always seemed to keep me in a box- at least in my mind. I was one of those girls that didn’t like rules and felt no one should have authority over what I say, think or do.  I was a free spirit with the heart of a fighter.   Maybe because of the abuse I endured in my romantic relationships.  But the more “freedom” I exercised and the more fight I put up, the more I found I was hurting myself over and over AND over.

“Don’t tell me I have to leave the bar!”, “don’t tell me I’m not having another!”, “don’t tell me not to dance like that!”.  I HATED being controlled or told what I could or could not do.  But there I sat the next day, hung over with an angry boyfriend and worst of all, the weight of guilt on my shoulders not remembering how the night ended.

So what was I getting out of purposefully being so defiant to any person I got close to?  I thought I was winning.  I thought I was proving that I was in control of myself.  But there I was at 2am with no control of myself at all really!

Remember when you were a child and your parents said “don’t run in the street!”?   As much as it was giving you “boundaries” it was to love, guide and protect you!  If I had the same heart as a child as I did as a young adult- I would have been run over by a car! 

So where does this fit in our adult lives?  God gave us commandments and he gives us whispers throughout the day of what his will is for our life- not to hurt us but to help us.  He loves us.  The same reason my parents said to stay out of the street is the reason God gives us nudges to walk a certain path.  As I got to know my God and realized he wanted nothing more than to protect me and lead me to the best place, I understood that obeying him was my best option for this life.  I needed to see obedience as a “caring” word rather than the dirty word I had always perceived it to be. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am human and still have my days where I’m not always obedient and question God.  But then I feel the consequence of my disobedience and it only strengthens me to be a better woman.   

Psalm 128:1 says “Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.”  My obedience has blessed me.  The funny thing is, in my days of disobedience I was searching for freedom, but I’ve learned the more obedient I am, the more the Lord entrusts me with. And the freedom I was in search for has been given to me times ten!

So with that said… “Be blessed, be obedient.”