There's peace in patience

It's easy to get uncomfortable waiting. Whether it's waiting for the right guy to come along, waiting for an answer or waiting for something you really want, no kind of waiting is fun. Many of us in our own strength try our best to push the waiting process along and that's where we get in trouble! Sometimes us women tend to seek out a man ourselves when the Lord clearly states the man should pursue the woman and we end up hurt! None of this "pushing for things to happen" is good for anyone! You then look back and wish you hadn't! 

I myself have pushed for things many times because I wanted instant gratification and never once did it turn out in my favor! Times I settled into bad relationships just because I was uncomfortable alone led to countless damaging scars. Times I wanted something like a car or a big purchase and rushed into it, I ended up with a terrible deal in the end. 

So what can we do in times like these? How do we remain patient? We wait for peace. There's an uncanny peaceful experience when something is right for you. Wait on that! Easier said then done right? Trust me I know! 

But this verse has helped me lately as I wait for peace: Isaiah 30:18 says "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you. Therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait on him." Do you see that? Blessed are all who wait on him! This should encourage you like no other! Until you feel that peace about a purchase, a man, or whatever it is you want, you have to wait and in waiting you will find yourself blessed. God is a good God and the first part of that verse says he longs to be gracious to you! He wants to give you your desires but you have to wait until it's truly from him! If you do it any other way, it's not from God and it's not going to be good. 

I know waiting can be hard but finding joy in the process is key! James 1:2 says "consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance and you will be blessed." Waiting actually makes us more mature. We gain wisdom and perseverance as we wait. Knowing that, you should smile realizing that in the end of your season waiting, God will be pleased to give you the desires of your heart and you will come out better then you were before. In patience you will get your peace. ✌🏼️ 

Comfort Without Control

Some days I wake up and the first thing that hits me is the stress that the day brings. I think about my list of things to do, the personal troubles I may be having and whatever else is going on that I have to face. Life is that way. Some days I wake up feeling great and other days I wake up with an undeniable weight on my shoulders. 

But two of the things that I've learned as I grow in my faith is that first, nothing is actually in my hands. Regardless of what I try to do in my own power God is ultimately in control! If something is going to go wrong today, there is a reason for it. There is a bigger picture that only God sees, and in the end it will work out for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28). So when things don't go my way, I ask God what it is he is trying to show me in the moment instead of blaming him for it. 

The second thing and most powerful thing I can do in times of stress, doubt and fear is give thanks. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Phil. 4:6.) Literally, in two minutes of remembering all the great blessings I've been given, my whole attitude and thought process changes. I go from "stinkin thinkin" to an attitude of gratitude in no time! The small cloud that was over my head slowly moves away and the sun starts to shine. Now, that cloud may come lurking in and out throughout the day but as soon as I start telling God all the things that I am thankful for, my personal weather gets better and I'm out basking in the sun again! 

Not everyday is going to be perfect and not everyday is going to be smooth, but if we simply give it to God and tell him thank you for everything else that is right in our lives he will show up for you. 

Jesus wants you to call on him. He yearns for that relationship with you. And the better the relationship gets, the more you will see the sun shining in your life. God never promised an easy life but he did promise that he'd be there to uphold you if you hold out your hand. "As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you." Isaiah 66:13 

No Fear

No Fear. As a kid, I used to think that slogan was for people who liked to jump out of airplanes or liked to do crazy stunts! I'd see it on the back of a jeep and want to see the wild person who was driving. I thought it was meant for those people that didn't care about life and were willing to die just to have fun. Boy was I wrong. 

As I live longer I realize how much I want to live by that slogan. I think how awesome it would be to take on that slogan daily. I realize that bumper sticker is about living, when I used to think it was about dying!

Looking back, fear has literally paralyzed me in so many ways. It stopped me from living amazing situations where God wanted me trust him. For example, I've been scared to leave a job I hate in fear of not being happy in the next one. I'd fear leaving a relationship that was so unhealthy just because I feared being alone. I feared giving my all in healthy relationships because I was scared once I let my walls down, the person could change. Fear has literally stopped me from growing, from being joyful, and from living. 

"Fear not" is said 103 times in the KJV of the bible. God has made it pretty clear that it's something that he doesn't want for us. He knows what it does to our bodies, minds and souls. It can make us literally sick. You might be thinking of all the reasons why you "deserve" to be fearful. Trust me, I have every right to be fearful. I still give that excuse to God. "I deserve to be fearful in my relationships. I was severely abused and cheated on." Do you think he wants to hear that excuse when he's trying to hand you a blessing that you won't accept? He says "here is this amazing blessing my child" and you answer "I don't want it because I'm not sure you are leading me in the right direction." I've literally responded that way to God. Not speaking the words but I've done it in actions. How about you? 

I want to make that change today. I want to accept what God is giving me and live by the words "No Fear!" I've come to realize that the best way to fight fear is with the word of God. Once Satan gets in my head I start reciting what God said instead. These verses immediately change one fearful thought to a powerful one. 2 great examples: "Do not fear for I am with you. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Is. 41:10) And my favorite, "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me." (Psalm 23:4) And then honestly sometimes I simply just say out loud "not today Satan!" and I go from being fearful to literally smiling. 

Let go of your fears. Don't let them stop you from living the life God wants to give you! Fears are feelings and feelings aren't  truth. The truth is God's promises to you. "He knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you. He has plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer. 29:11) So next time you find yourself paralyzed, remember that bumper sticker, and be like the wild guys that jump out of planes. No Fear! 

Walk On

There's definitely something going on here lately. Some sort of revival. More people living out loud about their faith!!! More and more people coming to know Christ and becoming a part of Christian churches everywhere. It's amazing to see it all over social media and also in social circles. People that you would have never thought would put their faith in anything other then the world are putting their faith in God and their lives are changing and becoming so enriched with love, life, success, relationships and the list goes on! 

I wish this blog post stopped here but unfortunately there's a "BUT"... a big one. As much as people are living their faith out loud, there are many others just as loud, giving their negative opinions about those who are turning to the Lord and changing their ways. I see grown men and women being bully's on the Facebook playground, shaming believers and mocking their pasts. Some even going as low as to use horrific names and disgusting details to describe a woman and her body parts to try and keep her in a place she used to live. Does this remind you of anything? How about when Jesus told the crowd to put down their stones because of the adulterous woman? Or when people who went from loving Jesus to hating him and were screaming "crucify him" in his last days? 

Sadly, and I mean reeeeeeallly sadly, those people who are mocking you don't understand the message of Amazing Grace, or The Prodigal Son. They don't grasp the concept of The Crucifixion, nor what God did for them so that they can enjoy a new and awesome life in him! They don't understand that what they have done in their past is wiped clean and a new slate lies before them if they just decide to give their life to something bigger then themselves- Jesus. I hurt for those people. Truly and deeply. They are clinging ever so tightly to their old ways that you changing actually fuels hate in them. Jesus explains where these people are on their journey in John 3:19:  "God's light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed." They don't want to shed light on their issues. They are far more comfortable in their sin. Their hate then pours over into gossip and Facebook posts. But my question for you is, who's shoes would you rather be in today? Yours or theirs? 

Please, I urge and encourage you to keep your faith alive, loud and proud! Praise God for what he's done for you even when there are people throwing stones at you. Do not allow anyone to say anything to put you back in a place you no longer live. In 2Corinthians 5:17, it says "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone, a new life has begun." Whenever I have heard someone questioning my faith or mocking my beliefs, I remind myself of this verse. You are new! You are white as snow. Pure. Remember what God says about you, not mere man. 

I read a meme on Instagram the other day that said it all, "Some people will not let you get past your past, but you have to get past those people." And now I encourage you.....Walk on. 

A Place of Trust

As previous blog posts have gone, I talk a lot about current situations in my life and this one is no different. But this time it's coming from a totally different place. If you've followed me the last 6 months or so, you know I've had all kinds of different situations. When I first started writing this, I wasn't dating at all. I put myself on a dating freeze and decided to just date Jesus. I wanted to become the person he wanted me to be in him alone. I wanted to put all my efforts in discovering God and myself. 13 years of dating and some crazy relationships brought me to that place. Was it hard at times and lonely? Of course! But it was nothing short of absolutely amazing. I fell completely in love with Jesus and myself. It was worth more then anything I've ever done for myself. And I encourage anyone in the same situation to do the same. You will NOT regret it. 

Let's move forward, so after over a year of being single, I decided to go on a date. I followed the holy spirits guidance thoroughly. The person was a great man and a Christian man, but God had given me a very distinct feeling in my soul that something wasn't right. Because he was a Godly man, I questioned it at first but the undying feeling the spirit gave, I just couldn't shake it. It was hard to let this one go but something told me it was the best thing for the both of us and painfully said goodbye. Then after about a month or two another Christian man started to pursue me and I accepted a date. Not only did God show me that he wasn't a spiritual leader but he also showed me how far I've come in recognizing what is right for me and what is wrong for me in God's eyes. This one was much easier to let pass me by. In this situation I knew I'd be drawn closer to sin and not closer to God. Not that he was a bad man, he just wasn't walking the same path I was.  

Which now brings me to the present. I recently have been pursued in the way God has intended a man to pursue a woman and that is in the pursuit of marriage. I'm being pursued honorably, respectfully and confidently with God as the focus for us both. And for that reason alone, I continue to move forward daily in this relationship. The Holy Spirit continues to give me little winks in the verses I read, in the things this man does and the prayer life we have together already. Am I excited? Absolutely! But as all stories go, I hit a bump in the road.

As I have learned, the devil wants nothing more then to not allow a godly couple to come together. I found myself one day being attacked by the devil, using the scars of my past relationships. I began to think thoughts about who others were in my past and questioned if this man would do the same. I started to lose faith in something that was 100% from God all because I allowed Satan to take hold of my thoughts! He wanted to keep me in the past and stop me from moving forward. It was nothing this man said or did. If anything he was beyond loving and affectionate at every moment he could be. It was my thoughts alone that created a separation for a couple days in my mind. So I spoke to my mentor first and she told me to talk to him about it. I had a deep 4 hour conversation with him telling him my fears. As a spiritual leader should, he pointed me towards God. Telling me to put my trust with the Lord because he guides this ship. He sent me a verse about trust before bed that night and prayed for me. That was a great example in my life of how a man is to lead me to God through a relationship. It was an example of someone bringing me closer to what God wants for me, which is trust in Him alone! 

John 14:27 says "I leave you peace, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives to you. Do not let your hearts be trouble and do not be afraid!" This verse lays on my heart heavily as I write this. Once you give God everything he will give you a supernatural peace in all areas of your life. God wants you to trust him and not look at your past circumstances. He wants to guide your new circumstances. Once we have trust, we have gladness. And that is where I am today. 

Psalm33:21- "In him our hearts rejoice because we TRUST in his holy name."

Slammed Shut

So many times in my life I've gripped on to things so tightly, desperate to hold on. Whether it was friendships, relationships, a business venture or just things, I held on to some of them for far too long. The door would be shutting and God was saying "no" but I fought with all my might to keep it open or to make it happen. 

Have you ever been there? I can think of so many times being in pain over what I thought I "needed" when God was simply saying "trust me and let it be." If I had only listened and obeyed, I would have avoided so many tears. I remember dating someone and having so much anxiety about it, that I could hardly eat and lost 10 pounds just two months into the relationship. God was telling me no but I was saying yes and a month later I found out he wasn't being loyal. I wanted it so bad that I ignored the Holy Spirits guidance and ended up being hurt badly. Sometimes we allow our flesh to make the decisions to fulfill our needs but it never ends good. Matthew 26:41 says that we must let the spirit lead. It states, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." 

We are all tempted to let our flesh lead everyday! But praying about all things and turning to God to lead the way will be your strength. I for one have always had a bad "picker." I wasn't very good at picking good men. It was then that I realized that I couldn't let myself choose anymore and I had to let God choose for me. And as I've been on this dating journey the last 6 months, I have felt the spirits guidance the whole way. I used to get into a relationship as soon as possible to satisfy my flesh. But now by letting the Holy Spirit lead, the difference is so clear to me between what is God's will and what is not.

I look back now and I am so thankful for closed doors. They were God's protection over my life! Had he let those doors stay open any longer, I may not be sitting here to write this blog. Let God lead. Let him close doors. Stop holding on so tight! You don't have to hold on tight or chase what God has meant for you. The best part is, when you give up control to God, you get to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride! 

As the world gets darker...

This world. It gets scarier. It gets angrier. It gets darker. Days go by and something new hurts my heart daily that I see while scrolling through Facebook, or in listening to the news. People battling it out on social media, someone young dies from cancer, a young girl is bullied, two police get shot and killed while trying to protect others, a little girl dies sleigh riding because she's hit by a car. Why so much pain? I'd like to think I understand....

Jesus says this world is fleeting. It's temporary. Yet so many hold on to it for dear life. We want to hold on to life but God says "this world wasn't meant for forever, and I'll show you that everyday until you understand." You see, I wouldn't know how to go through life if I didn't know my home is with Jesus in heaven. I've heard so many Christians deal with tragic events so gracefully. A friend of mine, 25 years old, grew up without knowing her dad, she had one aunt that died two years ago and the only one she had left was her mom up until 6 months ago when she was taken by cancer. At Christmas she said she'd be spending it with her best friends family. How does one go on with the rest of her life with no family? When asked "how are you still standing?" She replies with a strength "I'm ok because I know Gods got a plan." Do you know what kind of faith that takes? 

I know there is pain in this world and sometimes it's so hard to understand why. It's so hard not to be fearful of tomorrow but that's not what God wants for us. God wants us to trust him. He wants us to be strong in our faith and realize that "you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."(James4:14). Don't hold on to life but to God. Jesus is your only way to everlasting life. 

The girl I told you about is a light for me. I see the strength of the Lord in her. I heard it said "that as this world gets darker, Christians get brighter." I see this truth regularly. We are the salt of the world, the light of the world, and when things get dark let your faith be so strong, that people feel your flame.  

There will be sheep...

A few years back, I was looking at people's lives on Facebook. Sometimes I'd see smiling faces but knew their stories personally. Others would post there unhappiness or attitudes right there in plain sight. I'd also see their empty "good times" and knew what that night was really like because I had just had one of my own! In my soul I knew I didn't want to keep down this road. I just couldn't. 

We've all heard the saying about taking the road less traveled and I knew I had to take it! I knew setting out on this path wasn't going to be easy but it was going to be worth it.

I also knew being vocal about it and my decisions to live life a different way then most, was going to raise a few eyebrows and held the possibility of losing "friends." But I was willing knowing the real ones would stay. 

I wanted good, healthy people that surrounded me. I wanted to have people who would take me to new levels of thinking. I wanted to go higher! Our days are numbered and I personally wanted to look back and say I gave my all with what I had. And at that moment in my life, I was giving very little. I was focused on "self" and was just getting by in my relationships, getting by with my job, getting by with friends and family and wasn't contributing much to society other then the money it cost to shop for weekend outfits and dinner/bar tabs. There had to be MORE! 

The good new is- there was! When I began to search for more, God was right there giving it me! It started with books that seemed to fall off the shelves asking me to read them. Then a woman who just seemed to appear out of no where that said she wanted to mentor me. Then not long after that, new people started to show up in my life that contributed to society by serving homeless shelters, drug centers etc. But they also wanted real, faithful, encouraging relationships like me. And in the midst of all of it God was speaking to me telling me my purpose. My life truly came together. 

But as all stories go, there are bumps in the road. God was giving me what I needed, exactly when I needed it but there were and still are things that try to come against me. The enemy wants nothing more then for us to fail! He uses people, situations, money etc, to keep us from our destiny. Jesus even told us in the bible that when we choose to follow him, we will come against opposition. But he promises to be our strength and overcomer. The bible says, "when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame" and "if you are insulted in the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you." Do you understand what this is saying? God will not only defend you but he will also bless you in front of your enemies! 

So when you choose the path of greatness, faith and righteousness, know you will come against things but the reward is far greater! Be bold like a lion and don't be threatened by the opinions of sheep. Like Luke 6:27-28 says "love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. Bless and pray for those who mistreat you." Because no matter what, in the end, you are still the blessed one. 

GPS- Gods Planning System

I remember when turning a year older was such a scary thought. I kept keeping myself on these crazy time constraints. Like, "I need to get married by this time and I need to have kids by this time, I need, I need, I need." I remember waking up on my birthday a couple years ago and hysterically crying because I was in a relationship that I knew in my heart wasn't going to last, and that meant I still "needed" to break up with him, meet someone new, AND get married to finally have kids! I was a wreck thinking how long all this would take! Have you ever been there? 

Well, something major changed all that. My faith. As I got into the word, I read all these verses like "Gods timing is perfect." "God is my rock." "Wait on the Lord." "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." "He is doing a new thing in you." These verses were speaking right to my heart.  I began to realize I didn't need to be married by a certain time or need kids at a certain time. What I NEEDED was a firm foundation. A rock. I needed to realize that I was being worked on. And that Gods timing is perfect for my life and that I just wasn't ready for what "I" thought I needed! I would have married the wrong guy had I adhered to all the time tables I created for myself! I wouldn't have been the best mom I could be had I rushed into what "I" thought I needed! 

Instead of being scared of time, now I wake up every day excited for growth. I'm like a little kid again, excited for another year and all it will bring! God has plans for all of us. But you have to let him lead. His timing is perfect. God allowed me to find out who I was before He brought anyone else into the equation permanently. And I'm forever grateful for that. 

When you think you should have something and you still don't- trust in the Lord! He knows your desires and just like a good father, he wants to give them to you! Have faith that God knows best! I heard a saying once that I always remind myself of whenever I start to lose hope. It makes me laugh and puts things back into Gods hands. It says, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans!" I love it! 

So moral of the story, have hope and trust in your creator. Let God lead, he's the best navigation system out there!