I’m not alone… I’m HIS girl.

I couldn’t bear the thought of “all by myself”, “alone”, “single.” 

            
             Who would I be all by myself?  If I wasn’t “blah blah’s girlfriend” then who was I?  If someone said something bad about me, I couldn’t refute it with “well so and so loves me, so what you say doesn’t matter!”  Because I’m alone and I’m nobody alone.”  Sound familiar?

 
             What a lie from Satan himself.  What wicked schemes he creates to keep us in sinful relationships and constant misery. I believed his lies. Almost every single one of them.  I would literally shake when I was trying to put toothpaste on my toothbrush in the morning after a breakup, so fearful of loneliness. I would go out every night to drink away my pain and at the same time hope to meet someone to fill my loneliness so I didn’t have to wake up alone again. It was a constant cycle that I knew I was in, from relationship to relationship, and I couldn’t get out.

           Then when my relationship with Jesus began, I read the words “he made me complete.” I finally started to realize who I was and little by little, day after day, my confidence grew stronger and stronger.   I started to realize that what other people had to say didn’t even matter anymore because Jesus had my back.  Now when someone had something to say about me I started to confidently tell myself “well Jesus loves me and that’s ALL that matters.”  I wasn’t facing life alone, I had the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit with me.  My worth, knowing that I was “Jesus’ girl” was so much more fulfilling then any man I thought I “belonged” to.  And that name has more power than any of my ex’s names.  

           I have found my number one.  My joy. My freedom. My peace. He will always be put above all men.  The man that comes into my life now will take his place underneath God and will happily understand that. God completes me, whereas my husband will be an amazing addition to my life.  My hope right now is that I am being a light for others and I am bringing others closer to their maker. But one day I know I will have someone who makes my testimony so much stronger once we join forces.  In the meantime, it’s me and God.  And like John Mayer said I’m “Perfectly Lonely.”